and even more shit....

so...I don't really know where to begin. My grandfather had surgery this weekend, praying everything went wel..

This St. Louis weather is really pissin' me off. I could have sworn monday it was in the seventies....now there's 8 inches on snow on the ground, which is currently melting because the temperature is on it's way back up to the sixties by monday. Go figure...

So...like....why do people always feel like they can fault you when you don't live up to their assumptions? No, I didn't say expectations, I said assumptions. How you gon be upset with me because I didn't do what you THOUGHT or ASSUMED I was gon do? Maybe I'm missing something, but why is it my fault? Try this....STOP ASSUMIN' SHIT!!

So I feel like I'm in this transition period. It's funny because a lot lately I have felt like I'm not doing the right thing by some people. It seems like I have some people in my life that I keep hurting, but I'm not necessarily doing something wrong, at least in their eyes. I'm being pulled in several different directions, trying to make time for the people and things that are priorities as well as the things that I feel are important to me, but that is so not easy, and someone or something always ends up getting slighted, and me faulted for it. Doesn't feel good to be kind of faulted for some things that seem like they are beyond your control, or that you are trying to control. Kind of sucks actually.

So, I think I have finally figured out what my "pledge" is for 2008. I want to be happy. Happy with what I have, what I don't have, and what I'm working towards. I'm going to be making a concerted effort to change the things I'm unhappy with instead of just sitting there and becoming content with being unhappy.

I also want to grow closer to God. I mean I pray and go to church, etc. But I can do so much more when it comes to the area of trusting God. Letting go and letting God. I always try and fix everything myself, and of course that usually just makes the problem bigger.

This past week has been a really busy week, but it was a good one. I'm really enjoying my classes this semester, and I'm glad. It's a change from last semester, as they are actually classes that I wanted to take. I am really looking forward to what this semeser, as well as this year, brings, and only hope and pray that I have time for all that becomes a possibility.

*sigh*

such is life.....feel me?